Neon-Green Letters
by Maltodextrin
Summary: A short romp in my shonen-ai obsessed mind. Jyoushirou; slightly on the depressing side... well, not really. Pretty much not worth reading.


Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. At all. I promise. Anyway, this is another mush fic (why are they so abundant, especially sense I only used to write comedies?) that takes place somewhere between season one and season two. Guess the pairing before the end, win a prize! (Even if it WAS in the summary... whatever)  
  
  
  
  
  
Neon-Green Numbers   
  
  
Little Golden Frame  
  
~*~*~  
  
Glancing up, squinting, straining to see. Neon green numbers tell me it's 2:48. AM, I know. I'm lying in bed, staring skyward, pondering a great many things.  
  
Are you, all the way across town, lying in bed as well? Or do you sit, staring like a zombie, at your computer screen?  
  
I turn to one side and stare at my closet, now. A small 'squee' emits from my mattress as I sit up. I can't sleep. At all.  
  
I turn back around and grab my glasses from off my nightstand. I get up and walk to my closet.   
  
I've known you a long time. I've LIKED you a shorter time, but it FEELS twice as long.   
  
I'm too shy to say anything. That, and, I don't want to embarrass you. Or... myself.  
  
I wasn't assigned the Crest of Courage for a reason, you know.  
  
I open my closet, kneel down, and push aside what, to the unknowing, looks like your innocent pile of junk. Dirty cloths that don't fit me, books I never read, little pieces of crumpled paper. Mom keeps telling me to throw it out, but it's there for a reason.  
  
I shove it all aside, and there it sits. A little golden picture frame, with a picture of YOU in it.  
  
A good picture, at that. You're smiling away, cheerful, something you're not very often. It's my prized possession.  
  
I clutch it tightly to my chest and return to bed. I take my glasses off again, set them back on the nightstand, and take another glance at your picture.  
  
I wish... I wish I had the GUTS to tell you, hey, I like you.   
  
But, I don't. I don't want to be hurt, but mostly, I don't want YOU to be hurt.  
  
A feel my eyes well up with tears, and I place the frame under my pillow. I wonder briefly, very briefly, what my mom would think if she comes in to wake me up and finds it. I don't care, though, because in seconds my room, my world, is too blurry to see even squinting.  
  
I don't dry the tears away, but press my face into my pillow and let it all come out.  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
koi.JPEG  
  
For some reason, ignoring the clock on my computer screen, I glance over at the digital clock sitting on the far end of my desk. Neon green numbers tell me it's 2:48. AM, I know.   
  
I'm so very tired, but so very awake. I know that if I lie down, nothing will happen other than that my mass, my being, had moved from one place to another. And, inertia was against me. I did not want to move.  
  
I sigh. I've been having trouble sleeping for a few days, as some unknown emotion has been eating me up from the inside. At first I thought it was the flu; however, after a day of observation, I figured this could not be. I felt my stomach lurch ONLY when you were on my mind, or when you came into the conversation. Just THINKING about you made me feel woozy and ill, but woozy and ill in a GOOD way. I liked it.  
  
After pondering it for a while, I figured out my ailment.  
  
I was madly in love with you.  
  
Ha. What a silly, illogical thing. Me to be in love is one thing... but with you? A whole other.  
  
I close my eyes and mutter computer jargon under my breath, trying to keep my eyes open. Not like I would fall asleep even if they did manage to close, but I liked to have some control over my psychical presence.  
  
Squinting, eyes not allowing me anything more than a squint, I drag my mouse to the 'My Documents' folder and click. Then to 'My Pictures.'  
  
If anyone else was to look in this folder, they wouldn't see anything out of the ordinary. Some pictures with my parents and I, some landscapes, and one, it would be assumed, of a fish.   
  
A koi.  
  
However, looks can be deceiving.  
  
Koi: a Japanese word for both a type of fish and... 'love'.  
  
Highly illogical, I mutter to myself, and double-click it. It asks me for a password. It's the ONLY picture with a password.   
  
********** The computer shows under 'password'. It is, of course, 'prodigious'.  
  
And up it comes. A picture of YOU.  
  
A good picture, at that. You're smiling away, cheerful, something you're not very often. It's my prized possession.  
  
I go to the top right corner, and hit 'print'.  
  
When it comes out, I quickly shut down my computer, and climb into bed, placing the picture under my pillow. I wonder briefly, very briefly, what my mom would think if she comes in to wake me up and finds it. I don't care, though, because in seconds my room, my world, is too blurry to see even squinting.  
  
I don't dry the tears away, but press my face into my pillow and let it all come out.  
  
  
  
--Jyoushirou--  
  
  
  
Yeah, yeah, this was crap as well. Add it to the crap list. Yell at me in your review. 


End file.
